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Showing posts from 2013

Letting go...

As another year comes to an end, time for resolution again! Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking what is it that I need to consciously work on! From being more social to emotion management, thoughts have been myriad, making me realize if there is something I need to focus on most, it is letting go ! Letting go of past, memories, dead relationships, people who doesn’t matter anymore, email conversations, gifted songs, recorded voices, greetings, old tees, restaurant bills …the list is endless! I always assumed holding on to my present is much easier because I have an ‘ideal could have been’ in my mind. But then, I hear of death of a distant family, one that has moved my parents a lot, and oddly, did not move me at all. Which brought me back to something my best friend shared sometime back (I quote him here):   “It was a fun evening yesterday ...Going out with some of the favorite people on the beat. It was also the evening which brought death in the family...yet again

Pujo is...

Often, I pride myself in not looking like a Bong. Or behaving like one. Seven years out of Kolkata, my love for Bengal is limited to cooking some authentic non-veg Bengali dishes over the weekend (more to make my hubby teach and appreciate Bengali cuisine), watching back-to-back Bengali movies while I am in Kolkata (and searching for Torrents while am not), reading up Bengali authors voraciously (this being my teenage love, more than anything else), visiting Oly, Flurys, and Peter Cat religiously every time I am in Kolkata (believe me when I say, I have never been to Kalighat temple all my life), and roaming (or loafing) around in the streets of Kolkata, around Maidan, at Metro stations, at Esplanade, and CCD hopping with friends. Which made me logically argue with myself – so what if I am working during Pujo? So what if I am not in Kolkata? So what if I miss the first ‘sindoor khela’ of my life in Kolkata? So what if I have to listen to Park Street and Maddox Square crowds over

Freedom!

A space in mind… for imagination! 4x2 feet balcony… to breathe! A4 size papers…to sketch a dream! Blog…to scribble! A smart phone… for midnight Angry Birds! Colorful bedside lamps… to fiddle with the switches! HIMYM…for smiles! Pillows…to talk to! Whatsapp…to connect! Glass paints…for rose tints! Books…for lonely burgers!

শেষের কবিতা...

আজ অন্য আলোয় রঙিন আমি ...আঙুলে ঝলসায় হীরের আংটি । একলা থাকার ভয় , রাত জাগার অবসান ! তোমার "আবার আসবো ফিরে "-র ভরসার প্রয়োজন হয়তো ছিল , জরুরি ছিল না । শুধু কয়েকটা জরুরি কথা বাকি রয়ে গেছিলো : - সন্ধ্যে তারাটা তোমার কথা শুনেছে । "জীবন জুড়ে অবুঝ ভালবাসতে" বলেছিলে ...মনে আছে? তুলসীতলা নেই, আছে অফিস। তাই সন্ধ্যা-প্রদীপ জ্বালানো হয়না, কিন্তু অবুঝ ভালোবাসাটা আছে - যখন তখন আর তোমার গল্পগুলো মনে পরে না । মাঝে মাঝে পরলে কাজে ভুল হয়ে যায়, ভুলিয়ে রাখি নিজেকে, অভ্যাস হয়ে গেছে - প্রত্যাশারা বুঝদার, আবদার করে না । একলা রাতের কান্নাগুলো ও আর তোমায় ছুঁতে চায় না।তোমায় "ছুঁতে চাওয়ার মুহূর্ত" গুলোর আজ ছুটি .... - তুমি প্রায় একটা "non-existing dimension" এখন । ঠিক তোমার 'প্লান-বি' র মতন - ভালো আছি , ভালো থেকো ...শুধু আকাশের ঠিকানায় চিঠি লেখার আর দরকার নেই । চোদ্দ-তলার high-rise থেকে পরিষ্কার আকাশ দেখা গেলেও , আমার চোখটা গেছে খারাপ হয়ে । চশমা লেগেছে কিছুদিন হলো , দুরের জিনিস (অতীত ) দেখতে পাইনা আজকাল ভালো - শুধু সমুদ্র

Hiatus

While friends have started noticing (and some complaining) about my long absence, here I am back with updates! You’ll see less of me here, and more of me on my other blog (keeping my fingers crossed that I won’t be lazy). Because though this blog reminds me of all that could have been and continues to be my favorite, the other blog demands my attention. Coming back to updates, a lot has been happening recently. For one, I changed my city. And moved to a city I never wanted to be in. But while am here, I realize it’s not that bad a city to live in. True, movie tickets cost a bomb, I am (yet) not allowed to roam around alone (and in public transport), free cookies that used to add on to my CTC no longer exist (free beverages compensate partly), binge drinking over the weekends are passé, but… This city has its own charm. More about the charm later! For now, getting back to work!

R.I.P.

Did I lose you? Or did I lose myself? A sense of utter gloom and unfathomable numbness Engulfs me. They could have been the harbinger of blank verse, Of words I could never write. Of emotions that only you understand. But no words, no emotions erupt. The way they did, a lifetime back. The volcano is extinct. The burn pains. Perhaps, I have lost myself.