On the edge of happiness...

#1 For all the time you stopped me From following my dreams – “Thank You” You made it easier for me to leave you #2 Final boarding announcement. He hugged: “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.” She smiled. “Stay back” choked. If only the baby in the womb could speak! #3 “All the best!” “Thanks! It means a lot from you.” Just once she hoped he won’t crack the interview.

#1 Butterflies in stomach? Past that age. Goosebumps? Insensitive to emotions. One look. And the world crashes. And they still need Richter scale to measure earthquakes. #2 6 AM. Result Positive. Husband oblivious. In deep sleep. Freaked out, she texts her best friend. Like always – he gave her a virtual hug. #3 “Don’t throw tantrums! You’re not a child. I was busy.” “Come home! There’s no one to throw tantrums when I’m late.” She’ll be her dad’s princess. Always! #4 “Congratulations! No more pizza, alcohol, and junk food.” Unaware, the tom-boy died. A mother is born.

#1 At thirteen, she heard Celine Dion crooning: “Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime.” Innocent belief is dangerous. #2 At 12, rain meant coffee and Mills & Boons. At 16, a love note hidden in the pages of notebook. At 20, chai and adda in the college canteen. At 24, a sudden kiss while walking on a deserted road. 28…32…36…40. Her soul is still rain parched.   #3 First crush? -Too early in life. First love? -A moment of silence. Do you love me? -You’re the father of my child. 

#1 I have seen music in his voice I have heard rainbow in his eyes. He rains. He burns. He cuts. He heals. #2 Strangled. Yet the pen bleeds. They can’t always be right! Some wounds don’t heal with time. #3 “Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.” Really? Then where did the concept of parallel universe come from? Just curious! Don’t kill the cat for that!

শরতের সোনাঝরা রোদ্দুর-মাখা সকাল আজ অতীত | ঢাকের বাদ্যি শুনে ঘুম ভাঙা...মায়ের হাতের লুচি - তরকারি, পিঠে এসে লাগা অষ্টমীর অঞ্জলীর ফুল, আড়-চোখের ইশারা, নতুন জামার গন্ধ - হারিয়ে গেছে ছোটবেলার কানাগলির বাঁকে | ক্লাস এইটের প্রথম প্রেম হয়তো আজ সংসারী | আনন্দমেলা ঘরের এক কোণে সঙ্গীর অপেক্ষয়ায় | অলি পাবের প্রথম ভদকা, ম্যাডক্স স্কোয়ারের ঝারি, রাত জাগা আড্ডা, উল্টোডাঙার মোড়ে প্রথম হাতের ছোঁয়ায় শিউরে ওঠা... মোহাম্মদ আলী পার্কের ভিড়, বাবার কিনে দেওয়া চিকেন রোল, দিদির ব্যাগ থেকে পয়সা নিয়ে আলুকাবলি ... আজ শুধুই ফেসবুক পোস্ট | নবমীর রাতে বুকের ভিতর চিনচিনে ব্যাথা নেই আর | দশমীতে যেবার শেষবার সিঁদুর খেলেছিলাম...সেবার কি মায়ের চোখে জল দেখেছিলাম? না কি আমার চোখ ছলছল? পাড়ার প্যান্ডেলে চেয়ার নেই, গরমে ঘেমে ঠাকুর দেখা নেই, রাস্তার বিরিয়ানি খেয়ে পেটব্যথা নেই| চাওয়া - পাওয়ার হিসেব আজ থাক! আজ বরং পুরোনো জামায় থাকুক নতুন পারফিউম এর মাদকতা | নবমীর মন খারাপ আজ বাক্সবন্দী থাকুক - পুজো হোক আনন্দময় | শুভ শারদীয়া! পুজো ভালো কাটুক, পেট ভালো থাকুক!

1:00 PM. Wednesday. And am still on my way to office. Smiling. No, I don’t love my job. Don’t hate it either. But I love the flexibility that comes with it. And the drive. In a metro like NCR, where I choose to drive 50kms one-way daily to work, people often ask me – why? My answers vary depending on my mood. Sometimes my husband is not willing to relocate from Gurgaon. Sometimes, it is the ‘us’ time we get that helps us bond better. Sometimes, NOIDA is too crowded. Sometimes, what if I decide to take up a new job in Gurgaon? What I don’t reveal is the obvious – I love driving. Yes. Everyday. In Delhi. Most days we (my husband and me) travel separately. Which leaves me with myself, my car, and my favorite songs on the loop. And my timings (to start the day) being rather flexible, I get those 4-hours of ‘me’ time. And on days we travel together, I love taking detours to try a new food joint, or to explore new routes. Cribbing about work pressure, of course, comes f

Have you ever wondered when, and why does someone become your best friend? And share a place in your life that no one else, perhaps not even your spouse does? Someone who understands you more than anyone else does. And even in fights, you know s/he loves you. Not the run-of-the-mill kind of passionate love, but a love that you know will always be with you. Even when you’re out of touch for months. This post is about my best friend… someone who I referred to indirectly in this blog often. Where do I begin? The first time we met? Or when we realized we are best buddies? 2003, I met him. First day of college, we shared an orange candy. He, obviously, had his eyes on a cute classmate already. To me, he was just another classmate then. What followed was 3 years of adda, bunking classes for movies and theaters, endless gossips and phone calls. Discussions from Eliot to Freud. Study plans. We were just like any other friend. Though I never realized why his girlfriend h

Does the past still hurt? I guess pain subsides! Are you happy with me? I don’t cry often now. Don’t you think you’ve changed? No, I have outgrown my teenage romantic self. Do you love me? Shall we go for a drive? I need a smoke. And an ice-cream.