Irons and Ironies...
A lazy Saturday…with an unexplainable feeling of “donno what’s wrong”…or perhaps I do! Making me wonder, is sudden ‘the number you are trying to call is switched off’ enough to let my mind wander and wonder the whole night? Enough to wake up late with a bad migraine!
And wanting to fast forward to Monday…so that I can find myself busy working. They say an idle brain is a devil’s workshop, and the devil that I am, my idle brain almost attains the level of being a perfectionist devil when it gets a chance.
With some old songs playing over and over again, a chord suddenly stuck my mind. Attachment phobia! Was discussing the same with someone a few days back, advising rather. Only to end up with the realization I do not practice what I preach.
Strange as it may seem, I don’t even miss the city I grew up in as much as I should. Miss those people in the city. NO! At times it feels good to think that I miss, but I don’t. I keep finding reasons to miss, make myself believe that I do, but deep down inside…there is a sense of unexplainable detachment.
You know that feeling when you don’t feel like talking to anybody, and just want to be with yourself. That feeling of being ‘I, me, myself.’ And just shut the world out. Being unreachable for days… talking to yourself and facing the truth. And then moving on with it!
Wish could do that this weekend…but then already have plans in place. Supposedly exciting plans where I am expected to enjoy life. Hah…ironies of life!
But with all the irons and ironies, souls and soles, talk-to-you-later and switch-offs, the ring-tone of life does change…and it does move on!
Thank God it does!
Comments
Woke up quite late on a grey frosty morning and through the slightly parted drapes stared at a gull watching the world pass by from its elevated position atop a lamppost and thought "is the world different from the top?". Then read your latest post through the aroma and bitterness of the cuppa and couldn't agree more with "phobia of attachment". I remember when I watched "Aguntuk" Utpal Dutt told the kid "kupo-manduk hoyo na". And in that process I severed roots only to find in an existential crisis.
Don't know what is right!!!
"Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I have looked at life that way.
Oh but now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I have changed
Well something's lost and something's gained
in living every day
I have looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
it's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
..."
Have you listened to Joni Mitchell's "Both sides now"? If not, I would recommend.
Good night!
good night
Yesterday evening I watched this movie "World's greatest Dad". It's a dark comedy featuring Robin Williams. At the very end of the movie he says "I always thought that the worst thing that could happen is to die lonely. However, the worst thing that could happen is to be surrounded by a bunch of people and still be alone".
Would love to hear what you think about that!