On going back home!

Another month…and probably I will be off for a short vacation. And now, bored with routine work, no one around to talk to…and dreading the thought of yet another call from my mom reminding me I need to settle down (now I really don’t know what does that mean…by industry (read social) standards, I am settled…have a job, have been away from home for 4 years, have loads of friend to hang around with…and most importantly, I am happy most of the times)…just thought of listing down of what awaits me (or bohemian joint-family creatures like us) one month down the line.

Here goes the list:

Your parents will try to make you go to bed by 11 p.m. latest, while all you can do is stare at the ceiling thinking, “What do I do now till I get sleep at 4 a.m.?”

Try sending a text to a friend at 2 a.m., your mom (who will not miss a chance to sleep beside you while you are at home) will wake up saying: “Who is that you are texting? Everybody is sleeping at this hour.” And trust me; you can’t explain her that it’s just a friend and not your boy/girl friend.

Wake up in the morning and you will see all the high calorie food you can ever think of. Don’t even dare saying no, you stay alone…far off…so it’s natural you have lost weight (doesn’t matter if you have gained 20 kilos since you left home).

Tell your family (if you happen to live in a joint family) that you will be going out with a friend for lunch. Make sure you have his/her resume handy (if s/he is not your school friend) for reference, for you will be asked questions ranging from where are you going to what does s/he do.

Tell them you want to go out. They will come up with it’s so hot outside (doesn’t matter even if it’s in December) or take rest at home. In short, they will make you stay at home.

Try opening your laptop, you will get a one-hour lecture…you are straining your eyes.

Try reading a book…they will come up with, “See, that’s why we tell you to come back home. You forgot to talk to people…with so many people around; you still need books for company.” You will wonder are these the same people who used to complain that you are not a book-worm.

Be on phone for more than half an hour (doesn’t matter if it’s an office call or a friend’s), and you will listen to: “That day, they were reporting in a show, using mobile cause brain tumor.”

Your dad and uncles coming up with “Don’t be a spend-thrift. Invest something…blah blah blah….” No matter what, they would prove you are a spend-thrift.

A question: “Do you have a credit card?” followed by, “Don’t even think of having one…it’s a dangerous thing.” (Don’t even dare saying that you have one)

An unavoidable question: “Can’t you relocate here?”

Another unavoidable question: “Do you like someone? Then get married to him/her.” If you happen to say no, it will be followed by, “Why don’t you talk to this guy/girl?”

Get settled!! That’s what you will hear at least ten times a day. In short, get married and doomed!

But…in spite of all these,

You will find

Your dad closing the window to shut off the light while you sleep late

Your mom complaining you are so careless with your hair and giving a chumpy

All your favorite dishes ready at the dining table

Your cousins giving you surprises…things that you forgot you loved

If you happen to have an elder sister at home, be sure she will keep aside some special recipes for you

Everybody at home being so happy with you around that you would never want to come back

Your dad would still wait for you to choose while he buys something

Your mom has neatly packed food for months you were not at home, least she forgets to give you something in hurry

Weekends with ‘n’ number of relatives dropping by to see you…and you won’t feel you are at a zoo

Weekend parties and friends replaced with family get-togethers

Having the best time of your life doing absolutely nothing, yet being so busy

Though you would miss meeting your friends (whom you haven’t met for ages), miss many planned outings with friends, still…you would miss your family more when you are back to work. And while promising your friends that you will surely meet them next time you are in the city, you would know that no matter what, your family can never have enough of you…and you can never ever have enough of them.

So cribbing about not being able to meet your friends…you would again wait to go back to the warmth of a place called home!