Silvery…almost…

By


I’m turning silver tomorrow…have been waiting for this for long! Badly wanted to spend the day doing something I really want to do…

Results…
Have planned to run away from the city…
Checked the yatra.com Website for ‘n’ number of times now…each time returning back from the ‘proceed to payment’ page…
Its past five in the evening now and am still thinking if I should just run away…for once in my life…
Coaxing myself with cookies that no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to do that…

Looking around and smiling at people randomly…
Listening to two songs… “Madno” from Lamhaa and “Rozana Jie” from Nishabd over and over again…
Smiling at myself after receiving a call…a cake is on my way crossing 1500km…college (or teenage) love is what you call it…is it?  Wonder why people put so much effort just for a smile…

Thinking rationally that I need to work…as if that’s the most important thing left in my life…
Surprised my colleagues by stating that I am coming to office tomorrow…
Cancelled a dinner out tomorrow…and still thinking if I should cancel that for what I cancelled my dinner and get back to my previous plan…

My previous plan…that reminds me…I should run away…but I know that won’t work! Can’t…
But wish it did! Just a wishful thinking…am not doing any harm to anybody…it’s just a thought…

Wish…
Could rain-walk along a beach…with waves kissing my feet
Could feel the rain on my face…
Could go on a long ride (not drive)…
Could do something I really would have been happy doing…

Wish…
Could just smile and tell myself, “Everything is fine”…
Could hide that almost silvery feeling in my eyes…
Could wish myself HAPPY Birthday… 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Names unnamed!

By
Image
Months back (or is it years now?) I wrote somewhere, “Naming certain relationships complicate life. So don’t!” From then on, and even before that, I believed in it. And now when I look back, I see more unnamed relationships than named. Not that I can’t give them a name, but I choose not to. Of course, to look at it, all of us have the convenient blanket term ‘friend’ to name it. But somewhere deep down inside, I do know that ‘friend’ does not state it all. Who do I call a friend? Someone who I have been interacting with regularly, share my thoughts and emotions with, or just go out shopping when I have nothing better to do. Or just some random people I say “What’s up dude? Have been thinking of you/ missing you…”? That reminds me…ever thought how “miss you too” is different from “miss you”? It is…trust me! How about missing a habit? As simple as the habit of talking to someone/ about something for hours! Do you miss the person or the habit if it’s curtailed one fine day? Or is it
Read more

Irons and Ironies...

By
Image
A lazy Saturday…with an unexplainable feeling of “donno what’s wrong”…or perhaps I do! Making me wonder, is sudden ‘the number you are trying to call is switched off’ enough to let my mind wander and wonder the whole night? Enough to wake up late with a bad migraine! And wanting to fast forward to Monday…so that I can find myself busy working. They say an idle brain is a devil’s workshop, and the devil that I am, my idle brain almost attains the level of being a perfectionist devil when it gets a chance. With some old songs playing over and over again , a chord suddenly stuck my mind. Attachment phobia! Was discussing the same with someone a few days back, advising rather. Only to end up with the realization I do not practice what I preach. Strange as it may seem, I don’t even miss the city I grew up in as much as I should. Miss those people in the city. NO! At times it feels good to think that I miss, but I don’t. I keep finding reasons to miss, make myself believe that I do, b
Read more

the Questions…

By
Did anyone ever tell me that I would miss my home awfully much? Did anyone ever teach me what to do when on a certain evening the city-I-grew-up-in would whisper deafeningly my name? Have I done so much, grown up so much…that returning to where I come from scares me? Am I aware that I am away for so long …that family is a planned appointment? Was I aware that I am such a different person at work that I no longer remember what I wanted to be at 6? Was I aware that the song that my mom would sing to me when I was a kid is not on my iPod? Have I ever imagined that I can spend an entire afternoon alone? Have I ever imagined that I would wait for rain-walk…and can laugh for no reason at all? Have I ever noticed before when watching the rains that the coconut fronds dance? When was the last time I learnt the best lesson of my life? Was it when dad taught me ‘confusing tense’ at the bus stop? Or was it when ma told me not to talk to strange men before I left the house? W
Read more