Affectionate

For the past couple of years, as I grew up (to outgrow myself), I realized that how generous I have been with throwing affection. That makes me wonder how I have changed over the years! Or is it just I have become more liberal in my outlook towards life?

A good friend of mine told me couple of years back that he still remembers the first time I addressed him ‘dear’, because that clearly suggested he crossed the threshold of being ‘one-of-the-many’ to be ‘one-of-the-few’. I smiled, and soon it surpassed ‘dear’ to be ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’. Now when I look back, I wonder, was it just him? I guess no! From hundreds of texts (OK…let’s take 50. That’s a more realistic number!) I exchange daily with people I call friends, at least half of them have some affection embedded (Grr…blame my job for this term!) in it.

Addressing a nursery friend as sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with it, right? Or any dear friend for that matter! I guess no. Except it makes my mom freak out occasionally, making her wonder what am I up to! But I guess it has got something to do with my upbringing. The days spent in hostel, where I learnt that bear hugging is as normal as shaking hands or a peck on the cheek does wonders when you fail to say thanks to a dear friend. Little things matter…like a jadu ki jhappi!

Trust me, being from a conservative Bong family, my initial reaction to a welcome hug was ‘Ok…now what was that?’ In spite of growing up in a co-educational environment where guys were good friends (and more trustworthy than girls), Kolkata culture had its effect somewhere. However, soon I came to terms with it. Realizing it’s all in the mind – the boy-girl distinction, the attraction. And I could happily throw my dear friend (Dam, who I guess is still affectionately mad at me for this) out of his bed to sleep in his bed, spend nights in boy’s hostel because that’s where you get to do all mad things, and enjoy many such innocent crazy moments of life. Without even realizing the existence of ‘boy-girl’ attraction that elders fret over!

A funny incident: a couple of years back; I met a friend of mine in College Street. We were meeting after months, and the most natural reaction for us was to hug each other and say ‘missed you sweetheart’. He reciprocated with ‘missed you too honey’. PAUSE! People around just stopped to look at us in awe. Making us wonder, did we do something undoable? We do that whenever we meet – bear hugs and smiles. Only to realize it’s Kolkata, where a guy and a girl can have only one kind of relationship. Hence the scandalized look!

That makes me think, why are some people so worried over such small things? Or is it us who look at big things as small? Is this what you call generation gap? Or are we too liberal in our outlook, too casual?

 

What’s your take on this?