The pilgrim soul...

"...How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...”

-          W.B. Yeats

This had to happen! Just when she thought she has arranged herself and is ready for whoever her parents has to offer in the form of a perfect partner, this had to happen.

Before going further, let me get down with describing her. As difficult as it is to describe her, let me at least try. Crazy, chalta-hai kinda pretty, whimsical…she is born to break the rules. Belonging to a typical upper middle class Bong family, she stepped into her teenage doing the should-not-be-dones. As she grew up, somewhere down the line she learnt to strike a balance between breaking the rules yet being the perfect apple-of-the-eye kinda daughter. She believed you are good as long as people can’t prove otherwise…and it worked.

Well… deep down inside, she tore herself to be good to people around. Fast forward. She is successfully sociable, has learnt to smile and say no to people (read proposals) yet be cordial to them, has learnt to let go of things…or at least pretend so.

Yet again…it happened. Do you call it liking? Or love? Or having a shoulder to cry on? Or friendship? She doesn’t have an answer. And after listening to her story, neither do I. Someone with whom she gets along instantly, someone who is so like her that it scares the hell out of her, someone who understands all that she has never said. What began as a friendly good-to-know-you soon turned into hour long conversations. Where cribbing about work or I-so-wish-could-have-done-this seemed interesting, and made them late for office. Where smileys actually brought smiles.

Whenever we spoke about someone to share life with, she had her own beliefs. To her, ‘this-is-it’ kinda feeling has to be there. All my efforts of trying to make her understand that life is not a fairy tale failed miserably. And all I could do was say: “May God be with you. Amen!”

A couple of days back, she called me. A one-minute call which made me do the best I could… listen to her for hours. I promised her not to share the details of it. So all I can say is…she wishes she could break the rules, knowing that she can’t. Or perhaps won’t!  

I don’t know what she is up to. Neither does she. When I asked her, she had only one answer: “You know…I feel knowing this person all along." And all she knows is now it’s perhaps just the moments that matter. I smiled at her, a couple of days back when I told her live your life in moments, she laughed and said: “Life is a totality. You can control your emotions. And I will do it.” And today, she is living every moment of it…as much as she possibly can.

To all that she had to share with me, I could only smile and say: “May God be with you. Amen!”

Note: SHE is perhaps my best friend…one who never fails to amaze me. While listening to yet another story of hers, I couldn’t help but remember the Yeats’ poem I read in high school (and was amazed to realize that I can still quote the lines from my memory). 




Disclaimer: This is purely fictional, perhaps the only fiction I have in here. Resemblance with any character is purely coincidental. And resemblance with mine is intended! :-P




NOTE: Scribbled sometime around December 2010. And Posting it now because a friend of mine insisted that I Do.