Love-Hate-Love!

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Yes! That’s what it is. My relationship with two people in the world who I can always take for granted, who will never say no. Who complained when I was a lazy bum, and now complains when I am not.

Parents!

People I fight with at regular intervals, shout at for no reason at all (okay, my mood swing  is the culprit), disobey only to obey later, pout at to get things done my way…love, hate, argue, threaten…and love more.

Having tasted life in a different city for quite some time now, I start feeling a little uncomfortable when asked to spend more than a certain period of time at home. Two weeks is my limit, after which I start feeling restless. The taste of independence did that to me.

‘I like living alone’ is what I have to say to the many relocation offers. My assumed responsibility lies in visiting home once every two/ three months, daily hour-long calls, and other such small things. Thinking my parents feel proud as neighbors say I have grown up to be a responsible daughter. While they smile to say, ‘We are proud of you, you are mature and responsible’, did I ever notice the hurt and miss-you feelings that they shove under the statement?

While I (like many others) have had a love-hate-love relationship with these two people in the world, some realizations dawn in. Thoughts unstated, which will forever remain so. And they will perhaps never know.

Dear mom and dad,

I am an idiot most of the time. I live alone and put up a brave front, only to be able to just cope up. I claim to love independence, only to console myself of all the concerned ‘where were you so late’ that I miss. I say I love work and can’t live without it, only because I have turned to a spend thrift and don’t want dad to get hold of my credit card bill. I do complain a lot, because that’s what children do.  

But I do love you…a lot. And the thing I want to really do (and would enjoy) is to run home and live off your money…be a couch potato (and read all the books of the world) all day and be scolded for it. And stretch my childhood till eternity.

But I will still be living alone and be mature. I’ll behave as an adult, find ways to do things as they need to be done. And manage to complete my life in incomplete ways, try to be almost perfect in my imperfections…because you have taught me well. And I won’t let you down.

Love you (though there were times when I hated you).


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