Learning to smile...

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There were so many things I thought would make me happy…

Like the warmth of a summer afternoon, being cradled by the moon…catching fireflies at night, building castles in the sand, kissing Mom goodnight, holding Dad's hand…running barefoot in the grass, a little hide and seek...being so in love that you can hardly eat...dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around…being bundled beneath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground…

But now that the happy little soul no longer follows me, I miss her. I do. Because there are things I want to tell her… like summers do cause blisters; eclipse occurs at regular intervals; fireflies die when you catch them; waves will break your castle; while you hide waiting for someone to find you, no one might turn up; you lose your appetite more when you're out of love…snows do melt. I wanted to tell her that life is not always easy.

There were so many things that scared me…

Like I'd never grow up; I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity; my dreams would forever be shy of my reach...my loved ones would all leave me one fine morning…

And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me, I miss her. Because there are things I want to tell her – to relax, to lighten up. To let her know that meeting people who like you, understand you, actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. You have to live with it.

But…neither the happy little soul nor the scared little girl shadows me. The child dies inside, and outside…you can’t even tell.

It’s all about learning to smile!

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