Desires...

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Like the smell of the wet earth, the first drop of rain, the warmth of sunshine on a wintry afternoon, the cool darkness of my room on a sultry day…

I desire you!

Like the smell of petrol or kerosene, midnight ice cream pangs, smell of new books, or new paint, like the aroma of mom’s cooking…

Not love, but desire! Uninhibited! Not for bad things, but for mad things.

Because you are my idea of breaking the chains that I could never break, going to places where I could never be…

Perhaps selfish, but the desires remain. In all that I do, in all that I say. On days when it gets on to my nerves, I throw tantrums. On those who love me. On those who don’t. How do I care?

But most days, I am sober. With smiles, understanding, and even measured misunderstanding…because a wise friend once advised, “Never let anything touch the core of your soul. You’ll have no savior in shining armor.”

With an untouched soul, I settle for what I deserve. Even when I have things my way!  And kill the voices in my head. That’s what sanity demands, isn’t it?

Is it?

… Because you are only an idea and I am just human.

…or because “I desire you” and “I love you” are not the same.

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