A collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time…
Sometimes, on good days, for falling in love
And on other days, thinking of the love that could have been there.
Almost.
Kind of sad reminiscences of past days that one wants to get back and yet cannot do so ... memories that take back one to one's childhood and brings one back to the present, to deal with it, and tackle all its nuances that do not leave the space to Be Who You Really Are ... Nice Rendition ...
As another year comes to an end, time for resolution again! Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking what is it that I need to consciously work on! From being more social to emotion management, thoughts have been myriad, making me realize if there is something I need to focus on most, it is letting go ! Letting go of past, memories, dead relationships, people who doesn’t matter anymore, email conversations, gifted songs, recorded voices, greetings, old tees, restaurant bills …the list is endless! I always assumed holding on to my present is much easier because I have an ‘ideal could have been’ in my mind. But then, I hear of death of a distant family, one that has moved my parents a lot, and oddly, did not move me at all. Which brought me back to something my best friend shared sometime back (I quote him here): “It was a fun evening yesterday ...Going out with some of the favorite people on the beat. It was also the evening which brought death in the family...yet a...
Was getting bored…all the while Facebooking (for the uninitiated, that’s a VERB you won’t find in Wren n Martin) and working from home...was missing my office, my colleagues, my hot steaming cup of tea…etc. etc. In short, missing loads of things that I tend to overlook daily… So…with nothing better to do (since my viral mind is working overtime now), thought might as well do some blogging! Virals… That reminds me…last time I had virals…I guess two-years back! It was fun…the temp was going steady at 104, my roomy was tensed thinking I might as well die…and I was happy to be in that state. I mean seriously I was happy…to be in a state where nothing else matters, no one else matters…a levitating feeling (if I may dare call it so). And when the temp came down after a day (thanks to my roomy)…I started missing my mom! That was irritating! I mean having been out of home for pretty long and still missing mom was kiddish! Remember as a kid I used to wish… “God…please make me fall sic...
Don’t know if I should have written this. Don’t know if this comes as a justification, or an excuse. I know the sanest thing I can possibly do now is to think of a busy Monday, work on certain things that would definitely add on to my resume and perhaps some more zeros to my CTC, and then when am tired, just doze off. And wait for another week to begin. But is this life? Odd as it may seem, I keep track of certain blogs (call it stalking if you want to, I don’t care). Logged on to check mails after a pretty busy weekend and out of habit went to one such bookmarked blog. The reason being obvious: today was one of such many days when I was missing some moments of my life, moments when I lived my life, and later passed them off as ‘you don’t need to live every moment of your life for yourself’ with a heavy heart and a smile. And of course some blog posts. And the question bumped into my mind for the n-th time. Do we all really do what we want to? Or is it what we think we shoul...
Comments