7 ground rules of marriage

In one of our pre-marriage conversation, we decided on some ground rules. Some, I realized on the go. Since some of my friends asked me to make it public, here I go:

1. Respect: With years, the face of love will inevitably change. You'll not go weak in your knees, or have butterflies in stomach. Fights can/will be messy sometimes. You'll ask 'why did I do this to myself?' often. But never lose respect for each other. You can live with a little less love, but not with a little less respect.

Pro tip: If you have to cuss, do it under your breath.

2. No third parties: No matter how miserable you feel, don’t let someone else counsel you both (unless you're seeking professional help). We all have those moments when we vent-out to our friends, but make sure they're not common friends/well-wishers. Because eventually you'll patch up, but always remember what your partner said to the common friend/well-wisher, and how vulnerable you felt at that moment.

3. No family in fights: Fights might get ugly, but don't ever bring parents/family into it. It works two ways: a) don’t question the upbringing, b) don’t share your misery tales. Even if yours/partner's parents/family asks what's wrong, pretend to be normal/tell them you'll sort it out.

4. Not being best friend is bliss: S/he might not be your best friend, and that is perfectly okay. I feel spouse being BF is highly overrated, and I will never ever have it that way. Remember, your best friend will never judge you, even for the stupidest thing you do. But sharing it with your spouse can be a nail in the coffin - because s/he will judge you. Even when they say they won't (also, if you're not married, don’t marry your best friend :D).

5. Honesty: Be honest, but be prudent. You live with this man/woman 24x7, so you know his/her level of acceptance. So avoid conversations that might hurt him/her. Don't lie. For example, if we ever delve on such topics that might hurt him, my response is, "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know. But know that I love you." End of conversation. :)

6. Don’t sleep angry: Though I do it often, but before marriage we did decide that we will not go to bed angry. I do feel it helps. But with years, keeping a check on your anger becomes difficult. Easier said than done.

7. Talk it out: Be it finance or sharing responsibilities, every couple has their own rules. Whatever the rule it, set it before you begin (we had it ready before marriage). Every individual has their own level of comfort, commitment, and insecurities. Talk it out and set the expectations clear, so that both of you know what you're getting into.

Oh! Almost forgot. Don’t forget to hug each other every day, even when you're mad at each other. And love in spite of, not because of.

These worked for us till date. I hope it helps us create a 'happily ever after'.