Loss is personal…

On a May morning, I woke up to the news of death of a father-like uncle. He was in his 80s, battling Cancer for the last 10 years, and died a peaceful death alone – just as he wished.

With no family by his side (he was unmarried, and none of us could travel because of the lockdown), my family grieved the absence of people on his deathbed more than anything.

While I was coordinating for the formalities and last rites, taking turns to call people back at home to console them – I decided to park my grief. After a few days, when I sat with myself to face the loss, I realized I haven’t lost him to death. In fact, we never lose people to death. We grieve because we find it difficult to accept the person will no more be a call away.

While people who loved him cried for days, I could not. It affected me so deep that I created a world within me where I can still ask for his advice. His life lessons helped me bear the loss. And I started doing what he always asked me to – reading The Bhagavad Gita.

Not only did it calm my mind, it made me realize that loss is deeply personal. And every individual has their own way to deal with it.

So, next time we judge someone for not crying in pain, know that perhaps it has affected so deep where tears cannot reach.