A collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time…
Sometimes, on good days, for falling in love
And on other days, thinking of the love that could have been there.
Almost.
If you could see through my silence, you would know There are so many emotions I am afraid to show I surprise myself often, that too at alarming frequency. Last couple of days has been introspective, with me looking back in time to see how I have changed. Apparently, I haven’t. I still wear the same smile. But didn’t I? Yes, I did. I come across happy-go-lucky to strangers, people I call friends, or rather to people who call me a friend. But somewhere down the line, I have lost that faith. That innocence to trust people blindly and give away my deepest secrets! I grew up, and in the process, I lost that part which I thought I would never lose. Is that how you lose all that you treasure? One fine day you wake up to find it gone…forever. It takes time to sink in, and then you get used to the loss. And you grope for emotions in the darkness of your mind. In those long lost alleys of broken trust and unfulfilled promises. But I do count on few people to make me happy. I do count on ...
Don’t know if I should have written this. Don’t know if this comes as a justification, or an excuse. I know the sanest thing I can possibly do now is to think of a busy Monday, work on certain things that would definitely add on to my resume and perhaps some more zeros to my CTC, and then when am tired, just doze off. And wait for another week to begin. But is this life? Odd as it may seem, I keep track of certain blogs (call it stalking if you want to, I don’t care). Logged on to check mails after a pretty busy weekend and out of habit went to one such bookmarked blog. The reason being obvious: today was one of such many days when I was missing some moments of my life, moments when I lived my life, and later passed them off as ‘you don’t need to live every moment of your life for yourself’ with a heavy heart and a smile. And of course some blog posts. And the question bumped into my mind for the n-th time. Do we all really do what we want to? Or is it what we think we shoul...
Another Monday…one of those many when I woke up wondering would it really matter if I sit back at home doing absolutely nothing. I bet no…I have at least a dozen friends who do exactly the same, and except for the occasional cribbing about life sans job being a boring one, life seems perfectly OK for them. They do hang out with friends, more often than I do, since they have free weekdays too, unlike me. They do go for vacation…dad-sponsored…unlike me…for whom vacation means taking the earliest flight back home and catching the latest flight back to work. They do take afternoon nap till date, something I have left with my summer holidays in college. They do ask their dads for money till date, something I haven’t done for years now. All the money talks with my dad have been limited to investment plans and tax return filings. And to be honest, I miss those days when I had to ask dad for an ice cream or had to save pennies to buy a book I had been eying for months. They still ...
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