A collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time…
Sometimes, on good days, for falling in love
And on other days, thinking of the love that could have been there.
Almost.
Don’t know if I should have written this. Don’t know if this comes as a justification, or an excuse. I know the sanest thing I can possibly do now is to think of a busy Monday, work on certain things that would definitely add on to my resume and perhaps some more zeros to my CTC, and then when am tired, just doze off. And wait for another week to begin. But is this life? Odd as it may seem, I keep track of certain blogs (call it stalking if you want to, I don’t care). Logged on to check mails after a pretty busy weekend and out of habit went to one such bookmarked blog. The reason being obvious: today was one of such many days when I was missing some moments of my life, moments when I lived my life, and later passed them off as ‘you don’t need to live every moment of your life for yourself’ with a heavy heart and a smile. And of course some blog posts. And the question bumped into my mind for the n-th time. Do we all really do what we want to? Or is it what we think we shoul...
Months back (or is it years now?) I wrote somewhere, “Naming certain relationships complicate life. So don’t!” From then on, and even before that, I believed in it. And now when I look back, I see more unnamed relationships than named. Not that I can’t give them a name, but I choose not to. Of course, to look at it, all of us have the convenient blanket term ‘friend’ to name it. But somewhere deep down inside, I do know that ‘friend’ does not state it all. Who do I call a friend? Someone who I have been interacting with regularly, share my thoughts and emotions with, or just go out shopping when I have nothing better to do. Or just some random people I say “What’s up dude? Have been thinking of you/ missing you…”? That reminds me…ever thought how “miss you too” is different from “miss you”? It is…trust me! How about missing a habit? As simple as the habit of talking to someone/ about something for hours! Do you miss the person or the habit if it’s curtailed one fine day? Or is it ...
At moments, I miss you. Moments when I talk to my mom about stupid non-happenings, and she suddenly asks about you. Moments when I am happy for nothing, or want to go binge drinking because am bored. Moments when I work out at the gym and have ice-cream pangs, or want a city ride at three in the morning to fly in the air. But then I know, you would laugh it off as my childishness, and give me a ‘grow up honey’ kiss. The kiss would remain, and I would touch my cheek every once in a while for nothing. And at other times, I do miss you. Times when I am in a mood not to talk to anybody, do nothing, be no one. Times when I get tired being a daughter, sister, friend, listener, even lover. Times when I wish invention should be such that my phone should be switched off for the whole world but you. But then I know you wouldn’t call. You would mistake my silence as my need to stay alone and leave me with a warm hug. The warmth would linger, long after you leave. Just like your smell. And...
Comments