On the edge of happiness...

Last night I had a strange feeling! Slept at 2:30am…was talking to my estranged ex-boyfriend about relationships. Don’t know though whether to call him ‘ex’, but guess can call him so, since we, rather I, decided to move out since it won’t result in marriage. I always thought it’s over…I have moved ahead. But then…all of a sudden…there came a mysterious lady…and made me insecure! He loves talking to him…guess my ego was hurt! ‘How the hell does he dare to love talking when he claims he is still in love??’ kinda feeling! Or was it just the thought of defeat? He is leaving me before I could leave him! Don’t know for sure…but nevertheless, I overreacted to the extent of having red swollen eyes and dizzy head. Kiddish? I don’t mind being so! And that’s when I thought of relationships…of all kinds. I heard somewhere, relationships are like sands…held loosely, it’s likely to remain intact…but the moment we try to close our palm, it slips away! I believed in that, believed in giving

Aaj kobitaay peyechey!!! Sokal sokal ekta kobita porlam…poralam-o… Bangla kobita inrigi horof-ey portey bhalo laage naa amar…eta reconfirmed holam ekjon bolar por…abar realize korlam bhalo laga ta ekta mental state…2 to manushek rokom bhable sekhanei bhalo laga aase…hoyto baa bhalobasao!! Jy hok…baaje kotha chere kobita ta likhi…tar aagey ekta odorkari kotha…amar ek bondhu kobita ta pore bollo, “eta ki? Kobita? Na jibon?” Ami bollam, “K jaaney!! Hoyto jiboner kobita!” Ebar baaje kotha chere kobita ta chapi…Happy Reading!! Ora Dujon - Shubodh Sarkar “ora dujon kuri bochor e okey bhalobashey prithibi theke onek durey arundhati onek durey kirtinasha, tobu ora dujon tokhon kachey ashey kuri bochor ora dujon morchey ghurey ghurey shurjo dobey arundhati jurey ek shohorey thakey dujon kintu ora du du-ti bari banay thaka ebong na thaka niye du bhagey bhag hote chay porgonay… shurjo dobey kirtinasha jurey dujoney bhabey ebar jodi paliye jai durey? palano ot

Ekta olosh dupur…had nothing better to do…so was trying to go back to my love…I mean kobita!!! Ek purono bondhu…kichu purono kotha…kichu joma nirobota…hotath mone pore jaoa kichu kobita’r line! Thik korlam amar bhalolaga’r kobita, bhalobasa’r kobita der joma korbo ekhaney…prothome bhablam why not a different blog? Tarpor bhablam…ki jay ase!! Thak na ek jaygay joma…harie gele khuje pete subidhe hobe hoyto!! :-) Ei post ta kora sudhui koyekta kobita’r line’er jonyo…ek somoy portam…tarpor porte bhule gechilam…ba rather mone hoyni pora ta important! Tarpor mone holo kono bhalo lagar jinish’er modhyei hoyto bhalobasa beNche thakey! Ty…hotath G Talk e futey otha kichu line bondi korlam ei post ta t… “Tukro hoye choriye ache aalo Ek-khana kaanch bhengechilam mote Mukut theke khose porche palok Bish meshano thanda shorbot e… Haath paa bhaari Onyo rokom aayesh Sukno pata urche hawar chote Aaj dekchi tomar paaye paaye Chhere jaoa o shilpo hoye othe….”

I was thinking to write something for quite some time now…even last night I vouched that the first thing I would do on entering the office today is write on the blog…but as was obvious…only remembered it on my way back. Hey…between…I have promised myself to write often…guess that’s because I realized I have moved far away from photography! I mean…I just can’t click anymore …it’s so damn irritating!! You know you have a wonderful subject before you…but the moment you try capturing it…you lose all your concentration!! Not that I had enough of it before to boast of…but then somehow I had bits of it. And now…I have lost it!  Irritating? Funny? Weird? Well…my bro told me this last time I was back home…. “You are losing it!!!”  That’s a statement he made…and I snapped at him!! What shit!!! And now I realize he had always known me! He has always been so right! But then, I will live through it! Okay…coming to something more recent…I just spent an entire evening on phone! Talking to peo

Okie...here I am!!! Back to blogging!!! Guess I have nothing better to do, with tomorrow being a Saturday and the thought of working making me fume...am back to what I like!! Penning down stupid thoughts! Donno why, I stopped writing all of a sudden! Guess it has something to do with relating things. Forgot what this odd habit is known as! But then, I relate intangible things to tangible ones :-) Like the smell of Temptation still reminds me of a crush I had in college :-D Or…a wilted rose reminds me of the first ever Valentine’s Day card I received when I was in eighth standard! Or worse still…a random line reminds me of a person!! Gosh!!! I am tired of relating things with people. At times, I really think, wish I had amnesia…life would have been so easy then! :-) Ok…coming back to what I was saying…I stopped writing! A good friend of mine fumed over this…tried coaxing me, bribing me, fought with me…and did what not to bring me back to my old self again. And then, one da

From the diary of a teenage guy: "You leave school…you lose touch…you move on…you fall in love and see others fall out of it! In the empty moments you time travel and you are back to where it all began…bitter-sweet but no less compelling! :-) In school, we fell in love to live. We were young, maybe even capricious and turbulent, and we hated being alone. You know…at that moment you need someone other than your parents and friends to share your thoughts…your dreams. Someone who will make you complete…a woman from a girl. I would say it dared us to dream Technicolor in an otherwise gray life of soccer, sandesh, and semesters. It was the brightest spot of your teen years before ambiguous adulthood crept in. It was ‘like a warm shoulder in a cold world where you can find all the comfort’, but yet again, freedom sans responsibility is dangerous, growing up without others’ thoughts worse. We all look at it differently, but that’s how I rest my case. I can not rule out wh

Tuesday morning 11 a.m. damn angry about something...donno what! damn angry with someone...donno why! Am I Crazy? People have right to live...live their life...do their stuffs... Why should I be bothered? Coming back to what I was scribbling... There's nothing significant happening around me... Well...nothing insignificant either! :-) Am glued to my seat... Logged off from Facebook...my only source of catching up with people during this 9 hour stretch... Overhearing my manager's non-productive 'gyaan' about productivity to some other manager :-P Trying to take this irritating feeling of "donno what" out of my mind... Wishing I could go back home to attend my cousin's marriage... Having nightmares that I might not be able to attend my own marriage as well :-( SMSing... Scribbling... In short... Doing everything except what I am supposed to do now!! WORK man!!! Why do we have to work? Donno...maybe because we HAVE to do something! But I would have been more

Things change...they really do! Two years before when I logged in to this blog... I was different. Or...maybe...it was just my perception. Whatever!!! I have grown up to be disobedient overgrown kid. I still hate waking up early. I still want to cling on to my childhood. I still find it hard letting things go. I still think a lot about my past and future...only to let go the present. I still make resolutions only to break them. But... Amidst all these petty little things... I have learnt to live through the good times...and wait for the bad...only to live through the worst!!! This...I suppose...is LIFE!!!