A ‘HE’ that matters…

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Friday morning…a lazy one! And especially after a hectic week, Fridays like this come as bliss. When I am back to being myself…

A morning call woke me up, making me realize how childish I am. Somewhere down the line I still believe one morning call shapes my day – can make it good or bad. Hence I make it a point to feign sleep till I have my phone ringing! As long as I possibly can, perhaps! Odd…I know! But recent statistics prove that the days I miss that call, it’s a bad day!

This recent odd habit of mine made me realize that even after years; I still miss that one person. When I look back now, I still see his pampering smile and eyes that reflects an odd confidence in me, which made me wonder many a times – will I be able to keep his faith?

Since the time I remember knowing myself, no matter where-I-go, what-I-do, he has always been there. Even when the whole world questioned my beliefs, he is the only one who stood by me…making me realize if something is not worth dying for, then it’s worth fighting for... and being there for all the hand-holdings as I learnt to let things go.

Someone who has been partner in all my crimes…who still is my only confidant. With the people I have around me whom I call friends, he still is the only one who knows my deepest secrets…have seen me getting over my first crush…watched me falling head over heels in love and smiled…have been there to tell me ‘Only you can make it happen!’…looked straight into my eyes to make me realize it’s time to get over it…told me it’s ok to cry at times.

He always makes sure he is the first guy I meet when I am in my city…never ever fails to pick me up from the airport…and makes it a point that he never sees me off while I leave the city. Those soul talks …those it’s ok to pretend…those life defining moments…those highest highs and lowest lows…we have been together through all of it.

Now when I realize it’s just a month more before the geographical distance between us grows further, I want to cling on to our past. To those moments when we stayed up all night…those conversations that stopped the moment someone tried overhearing. Possessive as I am, I still find it difficult to accept that next time I am in Kolkata…he won’t be waiting at the airport to tell me – “Enough of eyeing guys! Now tell me, do I look more handsome?” Or the moment he sees me, would come up with “Look at the weight you have gained! But that’s just perfect.”

Would miss his odd compliments, his ‘grow up’ advices, his cancelling movie plans at last minute and then making up for it with ice-creams, his ‘screw the world and do it’ kicks, his ‘stop that chain texting…talk if you have to’…all these and more!

But then…you need to let some people go. The only thing I am happy about is, unlike some people (and morning calls), I know I won’t lose him…ever! I won’t be scared to close my eyes thinking he might not be around when I open my eyes.

He will always be around…the best brother I could ever dream of having! My greatest confidant and critic…and the most loving brother! Thank God for him!

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