The answer is...

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It seems I have known you forever. Not someone like you, but you. On some evenings when Al Pacino co-exists with lonely coffee mugs, I sleep over half-read Barnes’, the Sense of an Ending looms large. Not over me, but over us. And I fumble to figure out the beginning of an end. Has it ever begun? Or is it just me scared of the end?

The answer is…

It seems I can cry for you forever. Not over you, but for you. On some rainy afternoons when my window sill is wet with love, I sit over torn pages of my diary, memories loom large. Not over my past, but over our future. And I say I believe in living life for present, each moment at a time. Am I too scared of a future without you? Or is it just a skeptical me, thanks to the past?

The answer is…

It seems I can hold on to you forever. Not hang on, but hold on. On some wintry mornings when I refuse to leave the warmth of my cozy bed; your smiling hug looms large. Not over my body, but in my mind. And I wake up from sleep to hold on to nothingness. Have I made you all in my mind? Or is it just a busy, not-yet-completely-mine you?

The answer is…

It seems I can fight for you forever. Not fight with you, but for you. On some sunny days when you are busy, the attention-seeking me pouts over “you don’t love me”, the ‘what-ifs’ loom large. Not over our fights, but over the aftermath. And I suddenly forget all our differences to miss you terribly. Is it just our difference that makes us disagree? Or just a way of loving in spite of…?

The answer is…

It seems I can love you forever. Not for what you are, but for the way you are. On some full moon nights when I sit alone on the terrace listening to my favorite songs, weighing the have and have-nots, you outweigh all the have-nots. Not you, but your care. And I call you to listen to my favorite caller tune. Do I sound like a mushy teenager? Or is it just me wanting to be with you, always?

The answer is…

As they say, if it’s not insecurity…it’s not love.

And I know your answer to all these will always be a kiss on my forehead.


Comments

Anonymous said…
Perhaps the answer lies in the question itself and that you have found in the end. its not that how much we cry for someone but the answer is crying for you not over you...amazing.

When we open our eyes for the first time in the morning, what could be better than the sunshine apart from Ur smiling hug and the sense of warmth of ur body!the answer is its not that I have made u all in ma mind but U reside in ma heart and that we are in transcendency...
November 24, 2011 at 10:33 PM
Anonymous said…
the question is that me always wanting to be with U??? the answer is I dont want to be with U for what you are but for the way U r! the answer is I dont fight with U, but I fight for U, within myself and with the world outside and I dont miss U terribly but I feel alone and lost.. Its not da differences dat make us disagree but its da right and hold on each other that speaks out... & yes needless to mention I love U... Amazing!!!
November 24, 2011 at 10:47 PM
moon.attic said…
Thanks :)
Guess "Its not da differences dat make us disagree but its da right and hold on each other that speaks out" sums it all. The need, the want, the desire, the insecurity, and the love!
November 24, 2011 at 11:41 PM
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