On the edge of happiness...

If there's magic in your Life, it's the magic of fighting Life beyond endurance, beyond broken heart, beyond the pain of getting ignored and detached relationships. It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you. Life is all about knowing the unknown…believing in the magic and living it. And believing in the fact, that in spite of everything, MAGIC does happen!

This scribbling is a continuation of “what’s on your mind?” in FB (for the uninitiated, though I doubt if there are any, FB is a social networking site). Was talking to a friend last night, with him cribbing about boring life…professional boredom…and finally he came to the conclusion that all he has been doing is slogging the whole day, and coming back home only to do more FB and booz. That made me wonder…” Do we really want to do all that we do? ” I bet the answer is no! It’s more of expectation (and believe me, even if people say they don’t have any expectation, they expect you to understand what they expect), societal norms, what we are supposed to do, what we should do, but rarely what we ‘want’ to do. The conclusion is: We are stuck!! Stuck with people’s expectations, responsibilities, and duties! I wanted to bunk office today, just like that…because I wanted to live with myself. Thought would do…was tempted to call my boss and say him exactly that, being almost sure that he w...

Wednesday… A rather boring one…more so because of a bad headache since morning. Had two Saridons already…thinking if I should have one more…. Can go back home…but then… But then don’t know what…but am too lazy now to take the pain of going all the way back home. Maybe kind of got used to going back home late! Not feeling like working…half-done with my work (no idea when I will do the other half, or if I will do it at all)…listening to a song over and over again (have been doing this since day before yesterday)…not thinking of anything in particular…just watching a regular corporate day. Having said that, don’t you think corporate life is boring? Or any job for that matter? Agree…I need to save my job, everybody needs to. But this whole idea of living life this way kind of sucks! Was talking to a friend the other day…he was cribbing about his team, sales target, and what not. Went on for half an hour… I was bored to the point of telling him, “Quit your job! Nobody will die if you d...

Twenty five long years…long and eventful…at times uneventful… Can’t help but wonder…what if… What if?? What if what?? These ‘what ifs’ surround my existence today…weird but true!! Ok…getting down to the point…actually I have nothing better to do…its Thursday night (will be Friday soon…maybe by the time I publish this) …am tired and bored and intellectually and emotionally drained out…done with all my rituals (I mean courtesy calls to all my friends and relatives)…waiting for God knows what (now how is He supposed to know if I myself don’t)… thinking should go to bed as I have to drag myself to office tomorrow (or today…whatever)… and in between these thoughts, am comfortably typing down all these stupid thoughts!! Wait? Are they really stupid? The stupidest is yet to come!! Have been thinking of writing for quite a few days now…but its not happening! So now, with nothing better to do, thought would as well give it a try! Coming back to what I started off with…twenty fiv...

Guess what…the MONSOONS are here!! Time for the rain-walker in me to wake up!! Believe me…was trying pretty hard to let her slumber continue...by ‘her’ you know whom I mean, right? That kid in me who loves walking in the rain…not because she loves crying, but because she loves the feel of rain on her face. It’s not that I don’t try…it’s just that every time I see the rain, I feel I just found a part of me that was lost!! Each time…every time…. As a kid I used to love rain…monsoons meant class teacher announcing rainy day…walking back from school all wet…walking down water logged streets intentionally taking the long way to make sure I spend a few extra minutes with my first crush… mom scolding and threatening, “next time you get wet, am not gonna wash your clothes”…me wondering why are all mothers so anti-rain. As I walked in the rain, I silently used to pray to God to wash away all the pages of my history book! Rain changed its meaning as I grew up! A hot cup of coffee a...

Have been thinking of writing a blog for quite a few days now, but was too lazy! Something strange has been happening. Umm…like some strange relationships, which made me want to write a blog. I met a man of mid-forties long back. Say three years! And till date, a text message from him brings a smile to my face. He texted me once, “Wish we had a daughter like you!” That was special…and it still lies there in my inbox. Whenever the going gets tough, I just scroll through my saved messages, and tell myself, I have to get it going for all these people. I wonder why I love him so much…and thank God that he is in his forties, or else people would have mistaken my love. On my way to office last week, I got into a cab. The cab driver was an old fellow in his sixties…and from that day he makes sure that I take his cab daily. He will call me every morning to make sure that I wait for him. The reason? I am supposedly his lucky charm! It’s supposedly because of me that his business goes well...

I wonder!! Don’t know what…maybe ‘what you are?’, like I used to wonder as a kid. Remember the nursery rhyme? I know you do…even I do. That’s a similarity between us. Not that we were different. Life has always been strange. Don’t know since when it started…am more interested to know when will it all end. Yesterday, a friend of mine was telling me (rather complaining) that from a list of 400 people, he don’t even find a single people whom he can speak to just for nothing. Advised him to call up any customer care number…they get paid of listening to shits of people. And guess what; today I ended up feeling the same thing. Speaking to someone who would understand me without being judgmental, someone who would just hold me tight and say everything’s going to be fine! And it was then that I realized it’s next to impossible. Given the fact that I have 1000s of friends, some of them being really close, I can’t even find a single one to talk to. That’s when I miss home…I miss my corner...

Am back!!! After a month or so…feels home!! Wondering? Yup…you heard that right, it feels great to be back home…and considering home is where heart is…am happy to be back here! Oh…am going back home for a break…exciting? Though I don’t find it so! I just got a break…told my boss either give me a long break or I quit to take one…hoping that she would ask me to quit…but instead, she gave me a month’s break! So…I finally got one break that I had been waiting for so long, but then when it is approved, I realized Kolkata is the last place I would like to be for a month. Strange na? The place where I grew up…the place which taught me everything…today I am not feeling like going back to the same place? Am I ungrateful? I don’t think so…I just dread being in Kolkata for a month. For a week or two is fine…but for a month…out of Hyderabad! Don’t know when, this city has started growing on me. With all its heat and dirt, with all the people around, with all the heart aches and heart breaks…...

Another weekend!! With nothing much to do, thought would as well populate my blog. Sounds crazy? Trust me...it's not! It's a much awaited break from the daily routine. I was chatting with an old friend of mine yesterday after a long time...and after all the regular updates ( at times I feel catching up with old friends [read acquintance] is more like the Windows updates, they slow down your system, but still...you need to do it at regular intervals!), he was like...wow!! so you have a job that you love! Huh!! Passionate about job!! I forgot the last time I was passionate about it! Oh yes!! I remember...in last December, when my manager was on a two weeks leave! I enjoyed working then...it's like you have no one to report to, you feel something should be up there in the Website, and you have it right there. But she is back again, and the worst part is...she has to consult her reporting head for every decision she takes. Man!! If she is so confused that she can't decid...

Misty moments drizzle past Something still shimmers The tunes and chimes... Those words and rhymes... Make me wonder... LIFE is, perhaps, a moment! A million stars bloom, A thousand clouds unfurl, Little hopes; Some unseen dreams Make me wonder... LIFE is a sky! Waves break on shores Tears melt in eyes, A swirl, a fallen crest... Make me wonder... LIFE is an ocean! Emotions put to words, A world in verses: Soft lyrics, mystic chimes Make me wonder... LIFE is a tune! Treading eternal desert, An oasis; Zeal to quench thirst... Make me wonder... LIFE is a mirage! Twilight sets heavily, Veil of darkness fall. LIFE is....